108 kentucky jokes and hilarious kentucky puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about kentucky that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for some laughs? Check out our collection of Kentucky jokes. From Louisville to Lexington, we've got something for everyone. So sit back, relax, and enjoy a good chuckle.
Quick Jump To
- Short Kentucky Jokes
- Kentucky One Liners
- Kentucky Fried Chicken Jokes
- Kentucky Derby Jokes
- Kentucky Girl Jokes
- More Kentucky Jokes
Funniest Kentucky Short Jokes
Short kentucky jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The kentucky humour may include short kentucky derby jokes also.
- Is the capital of Kentucky pronounced Loo-iss-ville or Loo-ee-ville? Wrong. It's pronounced Frank-fort.
- How do we know the toothbrush was invented in Kentucky? If was created anywhere else it would have been called the teethbrush.
- You want to know what's the most unrealistic thing from Batman V superman? (not a spoiler) A democratic senator from Kentucky.
- got arrested for smuggling books into kentucky got off on a technicality, no one there could *prove* they were books
- TIL the tooth brush was invented in Kentucky... Anywhere else and it would be called a teeth brush.
- What is the similarity between tornadoes and divorces in Kentucky? ... either way, someone is losing a trailer.
- The toothbrush was invented in Kentucky. If it was invented in any other state, it would have been called a teethbrush.
- How do you know that the toothbrush was invented in Kentucky? Because if it were anywhere else, it would have been called the teethbrush.
- I told my Kentucky raised girlfriend her family tree doesn't fork... ...it spoons.
She did not find it humorous - Prof to the student: Did you study geography? Student: Yes sir.
Prof: so, tell me, where is Kentucky?
Student: At page 35 prof.
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Kentucky One Liners
Which kentucky one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with kentucky? I can suggest the ones about kentucky fried chicken and cousins.
- What do you get when you line up 12 girls from Kentucky? A full set of teeth.
- Why do bulemics like Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because it comes with a bucket.
- What do you call a horse meat sandwich in Kentucky? Last placed.
- Why don't they need dress codes in Kentucky? They already have the same genes.
- What do folks in Kentucky do when their car breaks down? Build a house next to it.
- How did the guy from Kentucky find his sister in the woods? Pretty good!
- How do you pronounce the capital of Kentucky? Louie-ville or Louis-ville? It's Frankfort.
- So I saw Amy Schumer perform live... The kentucky derby really is magical!
- Are you guys watching the Kentucky Derby? Yay or neigh?
- How is Halloween celebrated in Kentucky? pumpkin
- What's the same thing as a brothel in Kentucky. A family reunion.
- If two people from Kentucky get divorced.. Do they still remain brother and sister?
- Chuck Norris won the Kentucky derby, on a Unicorn.
- What state makes the sexiest jelly? Kentucky
- Why didn't a horse win the Kentucky Derby Because it was won by a hare.
Kentucky Fried Chicken Jokes
Here is a list of funny kentucky fried chicken jokes and even better kentucky fried chicken puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common? When you're done with the breast and thighs, the only thing left is a greasy box to put your bone in
- Whats long, black and hard to cut into? The line at ~~Kentucky Fried Chicken.~~ Popeyes
Edit Thanks /u/SatanicOnion - I fed my chickens a chicken wing... I guess you could say they enjoyed themselves. *ba dum tss*
- Why did the chicken cross the state line? He just had to get out of there because he heard that Kentucky fried chicken!
- Yo Mama so poor... ...that when she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken she licks other people's fingers.
- The sign in the bathroom at Kentucky Fried Chicken said... ..."Employees must lick fingers before returning to work."
- Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices.
But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear. - A year ago someone who said, "I'm the mayor of Kentucky Fried Chicken," was an insane old homeless man. Now, he's a hipster teen with an iPhone.
- Why doesn't the Kentucky Fried Chicken use toilet paper? It's finger l**... good.
Kentucky Derby Jokes
Here is a list of funny kentucky derby jokes and even better kentucky derby puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Kentucky Derby Watching the Kentucky Derby for the first time, I was surprised it was only a single race rather than a full event, but then again, they only want one race in Kentucky.
- What do the Kentucky Derby and a wedding have in common? They both have months of build up for 2 minutes of action.
- They call the Kentucky Derby the fastest two minutes in sports... But they clearly haven't seen me start, then quit, a 5K.
- I hate to beat a dead horse, but If I've got enough money in the Kentucky Derby, you better believe I'll do what's necessary
- In honor of the Kentucky Derby: Horse Racing is very romantic. The horse hugs the rail, the jockey puts his arms around the horse, and you kiss your money goodbye.
- How do you know a blind man that goes to the Kentucky derby isn't racist? He doesn't see race
- Quagmire gay joke You know what the difference is between the NBA playoffs and Kentucky Derby? Giggity.....two extra legs.
- "Oh my god! Sarah Jessica Parker is a competitive sprinter?!" "Greg, calm down! This is just the Kentucky Derby."
- Q: What do you call it when an honest politician rides a unicorn to victory in the Kentucky Derby? A: A Fairy Tale, there is no such thing as an honest politician
- What do you call the horse that comes in last at The Kentucky Derby? Kentucky jerky
Kentucky Girl Jokes
Here is a list of funny kentucky girl jokes and even better kentucky girl puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How can you tell which Kentucky girls are virgins? They are the ones that can outrun their brothers and father.
- what do you call a Kentucky farm girl who can run faster than her dad? A v**...
- What do you call a 13 year old girl from Kentucky that can run faster than all 6 of her brothers? A v**....
- What does a Kentucky girl scream while she is having s**...? Get off me Pa, you is crushing my cigarettes!
- What does a girl from Kentucky say after s**...? Git off me Pa. You crushin ma Copenhagen
Related Comedy Topics
- kentucky derby
- kentucky fried chicken
- cousins
- state
- rural
Gather Around for Fun Kentucky Jokes and Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about kentucky you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean state jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make kentucky pranks.
A man from West Virginia and a woman from Kentucky got married...
The day after their wedding, the man's father sees him storm into the house, gun in hand. "What's got you upset, son?" The father asked. To which the man replied, "I shot my wife. I found out she was a v**..., so if she isn't good enough for her family, she isn't good enough for ours!"
A Kentucky Fried Chicken lobbyist meets with the Pope.
He offers a donation of ten million dollars to the church if the Pope agrees to change the words in the Lord's Prayer from give us this day our daily bread to give us this day our daily chicken
The Pope apologizes and says he is not interested.
100 million dollars , says the KFC rep.
Again the Pope shakes his head and explains that these words are sacred.
One billion dollars. This is our final offer.
After some consideration of the sum of the donation that the church is about to receive, the Pope reluctantly agrees to the deal. He then returned to the Vatican and called a meeting of all the Cardinals.
I have good news and bad news, the Pontiff said. The good news is, I have managed to secure a donation of one billion dollars to our church. The bad news is, we've lost the Wonder Bread account.
If you marry a woman in Tennessee, but divorce her in Kentucky...
... is she still your sister?
If you see a Kentucky man driving down the road...
How can you tell if he's married? If he's married there'll be tobacco juice down both sides of the car.
How are people from Kentucky like flour?
They're i**....
A Joke about Eastern Kentucky
In my younger years I used to counterfeit money and pass it off as real money. One day, after I made a fake $7 bill, I found a random guy on the street and asked him if he had change for 7 dollars.
"I sure do" the man replies as he hands me $3 and a $4.
Kentucky Christmas
What is the worst part of being a kid in Kentucky at Christmas? Only having one set of grandparents buying you gifts.
Is the capital of Kentucky pronounced Loo-ee-ville or Lou-vul?
Neither, it's pronounced Frankfort.
Morehead Kentucky
Its ironic that marriages are now happening again in morehead Kentucky.. Normally when you get married it turns out to be less head.
AMA Request: Kim Davis.
I would like to hear her answer this question, for she seems uniquely qualified to do so:
If a man and woman from Kentucky get a divorce, are they still brother and sister?
You can tell the toothbrush was invented in Kentucky...
Otherwise they would've called it a teethbrush!
My s**... life (Dirty)
My s**... life is like the Kentucky Derby, four hours of foreplay, and only 90 seconds of real action
why is it so hard to solve a m**... in Kentucky?
Because everyone is related and there are no dental records.
When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Kentucky.
They're always 20 years behind everything.
Mark Twain
Did you hear about the new $5 million dollar Kentucky State Lottery?
The winner gets $5 for a million years.
Tickets to the Kentucky derby are 1100$
If I wanted to spend 1100$ for two minutes of action, I'd hire a p**....
What do you call a bunch of silly dogs running in Louisville on the first Saturday in May?
The Kentucky Derpy
Kentucky Freud Chicken...
It's m**...' good!
Two old farmers were talking about the 'good-ole-days'..
The old farmer from Texas says, "When I had my ranch, I could get up in the morning, get in my old Chevy truck, and drive all day and still be on my property."
The old farmer from Kentucky said, "Yeah, I had a truck like that once too... you shoulda gota Ford...h**..., they'll get ya all the way ta town and back!"
A man in Kentucky mixed together sweet tea, citrus juice and bourbon at a party
You were expecting a punch line weren't you?
What do you call an o**... in kentucky?
A family tradition
Did you hear they banned round hay bales in Kentucky?
Cows couldn't get a square meal.
(h/t my grandma who tells this joke like it is her job)
Two travelers are driving past a, "Welcome to Lewisville, Kentucky!", sign and ...
They can't decide if it's pronounce LouiS-ville or Louey-ville. So they decide to settle it by asking at a burger place they pull up to.
"Hi we're from out of town and have a bet about how locals pronounce this place"?
The local says deliberately and slowly, "Burger... King".
What does a woman and Kentucky fried chicken have in common?
What does a woman and Kentucky fried chicken have in common?
A: by the time your finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put the bone in.
What do you call the traditional whiskey bottle shaped headgear for Kentucky born Muslims?
A tu-bourbon.
There's a reason they call it "March Madness".
A Duke fan, a Kentucky fan, and a Tennessee fan are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves their team the most.
The Tennessee fan insists that he is the most loyal and then yells This is for the Vols! and jumps off the mountain.
Not to be outdone, the UK fan next professes his love for his team. He screams This is for the Cats! and pushes the Duke fan off the mountain.
Two Canadians in Kentucky
So these two Canadians are driving into Louisville, Kentucky and are arguing about how to pronounce the name of the city.
Its pronounced Lou-is-vill…obviously The oilman from Alberta says
No, you see, it is French! It is pronounced Loo-ie-vee! The guy from Quebec retorts.
They stop at a Burger King for lunch while they're in town. How do you pronounce the name of this place? Say it real slow, we're having an argument we want you to settle.
The kid at the counter takes a deep breath and says… burr-gerr-king
My wife and I got married on the same day as the Kentucky Derby. I remember it because I was considering betting my life's savings on this one Filly.
...
I also considered putting money on the derby.
I was looking for something to eat the other day & I found this Kentucky brand jelly my wife bought.
I tell you it don't matter, even if you put peanut butter on the bread too, you just can't make a decent sandwich with it. Got no taste.
I told her, "Woman, don't buy that k**... jelly anymore!"
A h**... walks into a Brooklyn bar…
…with a frog on his shoulder. As he steps up to the bar the bartender asks him, Hey where did you get that? The frog answers East Kentucky, they're all over the place down there.
